Dec 2006, 107 entries

In January, we Rode the Duck(tm).

In February, I threw a party for my ex-wife, and went on my first official date with Maggie.

In March, I collaborated with Kharis and Rick on Yamabushi, and went to Mexico with Lele.

In April, I purged my possessions.

In May, we threw a party for my 30th birthday.

In June, I went on a 10-day silent meditation retreat.

In July, I helped Maggie with her cat.

In August, we threw a Rock Paper Scissors tournament in San Francisco, went on a 5-day kayaking trip, participated in a Dream Interpretation Panel, and went to Foo Camp.

In September, I changed my name to Buster Butterfield McLeod.

In October, I did the Landmark Forum and started a new company/cult/community/art gallery/lounge with Lele called McLeod Residence.

In November, I ran a half-marathon.

In December, we prepared McLeod Residence for its grand opening in January, and learned how to shoot a gun. And so many other things in between.

*****

I think, this year, everything changed and came into focus for me.  I'm starting to see the magic in life... how everything works and how everything should be.  Having mottoes helped me build on ideas.  Higher highs and lower lows.  Go for broke.  Create extraordinary problems.  Be in it to win it.  No more dilly-dallying.  Double down.  Accept all offers.  Be the thing.  And, just last night, I realized with Lele and Maggie's help, that making something and forcing something aren't the same things.  You force things to happen by wanting things.  You make things happen by being the thing.  There is no more need to want things, just be things.  Be your best self.  Everything is an end in itself.  If the process of getting something or becoming something isn't the reward that you're looking for, you're never going to get it.  Because there isn't anything else.  You can't force an idea to come any more than you can force a relationship to work.  Ideas come and relationships work when you relax and just be them in the best sense.

It was a year of big changes and realizations.  2007 is going to be about manifesting these ideas and mottoes into a big reality... into my relationships, into the Robot Co-op, into McLeod Residence, and into myself.  To make progress on my impossible mission, to blend life, work, play, and love into a lifestyle that is creative, always changing, and extraordinary. 

It's all so simple.  Figure out what you're striving for.  See what's holding you back.  Prove to yourself that you're in it to win it by making irreversible steps towards your goals.  Think constantly about your ideal scene.  Discover the reward that is an end in itself.  The great thing about ends in themselves is that they exist right now.  There is no journey.  It's all mental.  We are our own worst enemies.  Our own genius nemesis.  Man versus himself.  But, luckily, you're equally matched.  You can do it.

This next week is perfectly timed for madness and explosions.  Friends from all over are arriving from SF (Ali, Jess, Aubs, Cameron, Buzz), NYC (Harry, Alice, Sean, LBJ, Kharis, Kevin, Kellianne), Portland (Rachel, Bjorn, others), many others I'm forgetting or don't know about yet, not to mention all of our Seattle friends.  All for NYE.  All for the new life of McLeod, which is completely invented out of nothing!  It's a blank slate for our own aesthetic and our own lives. 

If you're short on New Year's resolutions, Lele's from last year is difficult to beat: do something that surprises, inspires, and terrifies you.  And when you do that, do it again. Here are my 2007 resolutions so far:

1. do something that surprises, inspires, and terrifies me                  
2. open a bar/art gallery with friends                  
3. revive Office Hours as something new                  
4. become a certified Toastmaster